Bored Meeting
by PhaiFan
Summary: Another really boring meeting. Whatever do we do? Hephaestion puts his best foot forward.


_**Okay, after the last story I wrote, I had to write something silly. No more angst for a while now! Whew!  
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_**The obligatory stuff: I don't own the movie or anything related to it. As much as I love the boys, I don't own them either.**_

_**Summary: Another really boring meeting. Whatever do we do? Hephaestion puts his best foot forward.**_

_**(If you follow my writing at all, you can tell that I like writing about boring meetings and banquets, etc. I love it when the guys are bored. They get into the best kinds of trouble then!)  
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_**Rating: M to be safe**_

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><p>Alexander hated meetings. Yes, sure, they were necessary, but that didn't mean he had to like them. Truth be told, he hated anything to do with the administrative side of things. Reports? Boring. Inventory? Boring. Endless details? Boring. Listening to his generals give their boring reports? Beyond boring.<p>

He listened to Craterus rattle on and on about…something. He hadn't really been listening. Was it important? Probably, but he didn't really care at the moment. All he could think about was getting out of there.

He and all his generals were seated around the large table with reports spread out all over the place and, thank the gods, a little wine in their cups. Something had to make this more bearable. He wondered what would happen if he got them all drunk and then had them give their reports. That might be fun. Somehow, he doubted even that would make whatever Craterus was saying interesting.

He glanced around the room, noting that everyone else seemed to be paying attention to what was being said. Gods, was he the only one that was truly bored? He looked at Hephaestion, who was seated directly across from him on the other side of the heavy wooden table. Hephaestion was bent down, seemingly adjusting his boots or something. Alexander watched him for a moment, his mind wandering to all the delicious things he'd like to be doing to his favorite general, and feeling warmth in certain parts of his anatomy at the thoughts. He smoothed his hand over his groin. _Down, boy,_ he thought. _Nope. Can't do that now. Have to pay attention!_

Hephaestion looked up, caught him staring, and winked at him. _Shit_, that certainly did not help his train of thought at all. By Zeus, was Craterus still talking? He looked at Craterus briefly, nodding, and pretending to agree with what he was saying. He truthfully had not the slightest idea what he was talking about. His gaze returned to Hephaestion, who simply smirked at him, humor dancing in his eyes. _Oh shit_. What was going on in that beautiful head, he wondered? Hephaestion seemed to be in one of his playful moods, and that meant trouble. How in Hades was he supposed to concentrate on reports now? Not that he had been doing that anyway.

He managed to focus enough attention on the meeting to recognize that Craterus had just finished giving his report. The other generals were nodding in agreement to whatever he had been saying, so Alexander did the same. "Good report, Craterus. Thank you." He looked around the room. "Who else has a report to give?"

Leonnatus spoke up. "I have some items we need to go over, Alexander."

Alexander feigned interest. "Please, go ahead."

As soon as Leonnatus began speaking, Alexander's mind started to wander again. He really was trying to pay attention, really! Something about supplies, and...Oh Hades, who was he kidding. He wasn't listening. He continued to stare blankly at Leonnatus as he spoke, giving the occasional nod of affirmation to show his approval of whatever he was saying.

Alexander suddenly felt something on his leg. A faint brush of something on his calf that slid slowly up towards his knee. _What the_…oh, surely not! He found Hephaestion looking at him, leaning back in his chair with his legs stretched out under the table. Sweet Aphrodite! Those were toes he felt walking their way steadily up his leg, over his knee, and inching their way up his thigh. He shot a stern look at Hephaestion, who merely smirked in return. Well, that explains what he had been doing under the table. The devious general had been quietly removing his boots.

Alexander sat up straight in his chair, trying really hard now to focus on Leonnatus' report, not that he really wanted to. He was desperately trying to keep his mind focused on anything but the foot that was slowly working its way up his thigh. He squirmed slightly in his seat and glared at Hephaestion. He was so going to kill him after this meeting.

Once again, Hephaestion simply smiled at him and walked his toes further up Alexander's thigh.

Alexander was trying everything he could think of to ignore that foot. He was doing a halfway decent job, until he felt the wandering toes brush his groin. _Shit_. He bit his lower lip and tried to back up, but if he made too much of a move he was afraid someone would notice. _No, I will not let it get to me_, he said to himself. _Yeah, right, like that's going to work_.

The aforementioned foot slid down between his legs, the toes flexing and rubbing over his balls. _Shit. Shitty shit shit_. He tried pressing his legs together tightly, but all that succeeded in doing was holding the offending foot in place. Damn Hephaestion! _I am going kill that man_, he thought.

The toes massaged him lightly, and he had to bite back a moan. _Damn it!_ He was getting hard and it suddenly felt warmer in the room than it had been a few minutes ago. He closed his eyes briefly and chewed his lower lip. How in Hades was he supposed to pay attention to the meeting now? Okay, he recognized that he wasn't paying attention before, and yes, he was bored, but seriously? What was Hephaestion thinking? What if he got caught?

Wait, did Leonnatus stop talking? _Huh?_

"Alexander? What do you think?" Leonnatus asked.

_Shit._

He had to fake his way out of this one quickly. "What do you gentlemen think about what he said?" he asked the other generals.

There was a brief bit of discussion, and the general consensus seemed to be that Leonnatus' idea was a good one. Alexander was relieved.

"Fine, then. Proceed with that, since we seem to be in agreement here." _Whew! Got away with that one._

Perdiccas spoke up. "I think we need to discuss a few details of our newest battle plan. Cleitus, I have some questions for you in particular."

Alexander didn't hear anything after that. The toes that had been massaging his balls gently had now moved up and were stroking his cock, which was at full attention. At least _it_ was paying attention.

He looked at Hephaestion helplessly, his eyes pleading for him to stop before he totally embarrassed himself.

Hephaestion gave him an innocent look, batting his eyelashes at him as a soft smile played on his lips. Oh no, he was not about to stop right now.

_Shit._

The foot rubbed his length up and down, gripping now and then with flexed toes. Alexander bit his lower lip so hard he drew blood. He could not suppress the soft groan that escaped his lips.

Sharp eyed Ptolemy, who was sitting next to him, glanced over to see if Alexander was okay. He could tell that Alexander was very distracted, and he noticed that he was chewing his lower lip. Hmmm. He looked across as Hephaestion, noting that he had slumped back in his chair slightly and seemed to have his legs stretched out in front of him. He caught Hephaestion's eye. The blue eyed general simply winked at him, a smug, self-satisfied expression on his face. Ptolemy had a suspicion what was going on.

As subtly as he could, Ptolemy leaned back in his chair a little to peek at Alexander's lap. It was as he suspected. A big foot with long, slender…and apparently quite agile…toes was in Alexander's lap. He sat forward again and looked down, trying to hold in the laugh that desperately wanted to come out.

Alexander squirmed in his chair. It was now extremely warm in the room, and he felt himself breaking out in a slight sweat. He felt like his eyes were bugging out of his head. He had no idea what was being discussed, or even who was speaking now to be honest.

"I think we should do it that way, don't you agree Alexander?"

_Huh?_

Cleitus had asked him a question. _Damn it._ What in Hades had he asked him?

"Alexander? Do you agree?" Cleitus asked again.

Just at that moment, Hephaestion's toes flexed and gripped the over-sensitized head of his cock through the thin loincloth. He drew a sharp breath and managed to squeak out an answer. "Yes, I agree. Let's do it the way Cleitus suggested." He nearly choked on the last word as those nimble toes stroked and squeezed in earnest.

He had absolutely no idea what he had just agreed to.

He heard a slight snicker from beside him and looked to see Ptolemy looking down at the table, biting back a grin.

_Shit. Caught. Damn you, Hephaestion!_

Hephaestion's foot continued to rub him up and down, and it was taking everything Alexander had to sit still in that chair. He was painfully hard, and he had to admit he was incredibly turned on by the naughtiness of it all. Gods, he wanted to come so bad now, but he certainly couldn't do _that _here!

Ptolemy was dying. He wanted to laugh so bad it was killing him. He was torn between sitting back and watching Alexander fall apart while trying to hide it, or finding a graceful way to end the meeting to put the poor king out of his misery. Tough decision.

He decided to be a nice guy. He noted the fine sheen of sweat all over Alexander's body, and the flushed appearance of his face. He spoke up.

"Alexander, are you not feeling well? You seem flushed?"

Alexander looked at him blankly for a moment, his brain trying to catch up with what had been said. He was having trouble processing his thoughts since all the blood in his brain had decided there was a much more interesting place to be.

"I…I think perhaps we should continue this meeting tomorrow." Alexander managed to pant out. His hands griped the edge of the table, knuckles white.

"Are you unwell, Alexander? Do you need anything?" Perdiccas asked, concerned.

"No!" he squeaked, his voice cracked slightly as those damned flexible toes gripped him tightly at the tip again. He nearly came right then and there. "I am fine. Let us continue this tomorrow. Please. You are all dismissed. Health to you all." He bit his lip, hard.

The confused generals got up and began to leave, giving him odd looks as they filed out. No one knew what was wrong, but it appeared that their king was not feeling well.

Hephaestion made no move to leave. He simply smiled at Alexander with wide, innocent looking eyes.

"_I'm going to kill you, Hephaestion_" Alexander thought as he glared back at him.

"Hephaestion! Remain here please. I need to speak with you about something" he said, loud enough for the others to hear. He did not want them wondering why neither he nor Hephaestion stood to leave.

Ptolemy smiled widely at Alexander as he walked past his chair, and winked at Hephaestion who grinned at him in return. As he made his way down the hall, he came across several of the men talking among themselves.

"Do you think Alexander is okay?" Perdiccas asked. "He looked funny."

"Perhaps he had a fever. He looked flushed." Leonnatus pondered.

"Ptolemy, do you think we need to go back and check on him?" Nearchus asked.

Ptolemy chuckled. "No, gentleman. I think he is fine. He is having a…discussion…with Hephaestion. I am sure he will be finished shortly."

The men shrugged and went on their way. Ptolemy laughed.

Alexander waited until the coast was clear before he spoke. "Hephaestion! What do you think you are doing?" He bit his poor lip again as those toes squeezed him repeatedly. "You realize I have absolutely no idea what anyone said today, about anything!"

Hephaestion chuckled. "Yes, I know Alexander. You looked bored. I thought you needed something to perk you up!" He squeezed with his toes again. "And I see that you are quite perky, my love."

Alexander growled. "Hephaestion, get your ass over here right now and take care of this mess you have created!" His eyes looked pleading. "Please…I'm dying here."

"Yes, my king." Hephaestion got up and went to Alexander, where they quickly and frantically took care of Alexander's little problem.

Some time later, the men exited the meeting room. They were both grinning from ear to ear, and slightly flushed.

Ptolemy just so happened to be nearby.

"Alexander, Hephaestion…I trust you got everything worked out." He smiled at them knowingly.

Hephaestion laughed. Alexander looked slightly embarrassed.

Alexander spoke. "Ptolemy, I assume you will update our plans and prepare for our meeting tomorrow? I want to make sure we are ready."

Ptolemy smiled and winked. "Have no fear, Alexander. I will put my best foot forward."

Alexander simply stared at him.

Ptolemy turned and walked away as he burst out laughing.

Hephaestion was still grinning.


End file.
